15 Oct '11, 9pm

Is it a bad thing for a child to feel shame?

I read an interesting chapter in a parenting book recently and came away thinking it might not be a bad thing after all for a child to feel shame. This statement may shock some parents, particularly if they are influenced by Western advocacy of encouragement and affirmation of children. A "good" parent does not "shame" his child and refrains from acting in a manner that instils a sense of low self-esteem. The dictionary defines "shame" as "a painful sense of having done something wrong", "a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming or impropriety". Shirley Yuen, author of The Three Virtues of Effective Parenting, offers an Eastern philosophical perspective by applying the wisdom of Confucius to the parenting experience, saying: "Shame is something that needs to be taught and cultivated like other virtues." These words resounded with me as I recalled a r...

Full article: http://www.todayonline.com/Columns/ParenttoParent/EDC1110...

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